Last night I made the decision to be a hypocritical parent.
You may have read in some of my previous posts that my partner and I are trying to control the make- up his 12 year old daughter applies for school and everyday use by educating her about pre-teen skin and the effects of adult make up.
We only allow her to use a light tinted moisturiser and clear mascara and have bought her the necessary toiletries for a good skin care routine in the morning and evening- not that she uses it which accounts for all the blackheads on her forehead (which is why she wants to use make- up in the first place!). I myself wear the bare minimum, using only eyeliner and mascara and have always made it clear that I don’t really approve of layers of make up, especially on young skin after knowing so many people who ruined their skin by 18 for doing this.
As of last night however, I made the decision that I wanted to start wearing more make-up. This includes primer, foundation, concealer, contouring powders, eyebrow pencils, setting mists- the works!
Now before you judge me, hear me out.
I have never been a confident person and never looked in the mirror and liked the person I saw there. I have never been a fashionable person nor someone that was ahead of the trend- I was never bad enough that I wore bin liners but comfort was always first over style.
I have also never been someone to wear lots of make up- which you could argue partly comes from not knowing the first thing about make up and how to apply it- but also because I have never believed it does your skin any good to layer on so much crap and leave it there for over 8 hours a day.
Two years ago, I developed eczema on my hands, wrists and most importantly (for this post) my face. It has got to the point that it makes me want to cry every time I see myself in the mirror- the red blotches, the dry scaly skin that just won’t let up no matter how often I moisturise it and the hideous contrast against my natural shade. I look back at photographs before I had eczema and I truly envy the girl in them for not appreciating the skin she had.
In the past month I have found myself watching YouTube beauty videos and reading forums about make up to covers eczema.
One comment from a woman struck quite a chord with me which went along the lines of “It is OK to wear a little too much make up if it covers an affliction that seriously effects how you see yourself” And she’s right.
What is so wrong with taking steps to help you feel less self conscious and ugly? As far as I’m concerned I’m stuck with this eczema until I die and I’m only 33. Am I really going to just roll over and accept that this is me for the rest of my life??
After doing some research I found that there are so many different skin care products out there to help maintain the health of your skin that wearing too much make up need not be an issue as long as you implement a decent daily skin care routine. There are even some great products out there to help dry and eczema-prone skin.
My partner is not a fan of a lot of makeup and especially hates how much make- up Miss E. puts on for school when she at her mother’s, so I have to admit I was a bit concerned about running this past him.
Thankfully however, he understands how much I hate the eczema and the effect it has on my confidence so he was happy for me try this out- As long as I don’t layer it on enough that it looks completely unnatural!
So after speaking to him, I spent £50 on various ELF (Eyes. Lips.Face) products- I chose them specifically because they had good reviews and were cruelty free- if I’m going to spend that kind of money on vanity items then I refuse to do it at the expense of a living being- and am hoping against hope that with the guidance from some of the YouTube videos I found, I too can create a ‘natural and flawless finish’.
One thing my partner and I did discuss- this is where the hypocrisy comes into it- was how this would look to Miss E.
As mentioned above, Miss E. is not allowed to put too much make up on and we have limited her to specific products we felt were the kindest available for her young skin without forbidding her to wear any at all.
I believe in setting an example for her however what example am I setting if I am doing the one exact thing we are forbidding her to do herself?
And it is difficult because I’m not her parent, I’m not even an “official” step- parent so what effect will this have on our relationship?
I am hoping she will be OK with it and understand- she is good at understanding things if you explain them to her.
After careful thought, I believe it is the reason why I want to try it out that sets our situations apart and removes some of the responsibility.
She is young and still growing. She has plenty of time to do whatever she wants to her body once she is old enough to make her own decisions but while she is a child it is our duty to ensure she stays as healthy as possible and that goes for her skin.
I don’t want her to have horrible skin when she hits 18 because shes been trowling on heavy foundation daily for 6 years like it’s going out of fashion.
I however, have grown up. I’ve spent the majority of my life not wearing make up and if by doing this I can get some semblance of confidence back I don’t think it’s a bad thing and I don’t think it’s something I should avoid because I should be on par with Miss E.
I also have a good daily skincare routine which will counteract any negative effects of the make up and to maintain what quality I can. (So I am being responsible about it.)
I hope this won’t be too much of an issue with Miss E. and I really hope it works. Many of the videos I’ve seen are incredible- What some vloggers have managed to cover up with make up and a bit of skill is incredible!
I only hope I learn to do this too so I can feel normal and pretty for a change, and not feel like my eczema rules my life.